bandicutes:

if u can do liquid eyeliner u can do anything

averagefairy:

why do they even include 2014 as an option when selecting your birth year online like u fresh out the womb ready to join gmail

bible-jpg:

"i do what i want" sounds really rebellious and cool but what i want to do is avoid conflict and stay in my room

littlesammythemoose:

pretty sure the westboro baptist church think about gay sex more than gay people think about gay sex

snapchatting:

what’s the difference between a lawyer and a mango? lots of things! i love to make jokes

84emojis:

*white woman in a salon chair voice* I’M FEELING BRAVE TODAY

hayleyshair:

my favourite music genre is paramore

mr-devilman:

Sex is a lot like Labyrinth, You go in without knowing, there are Muppets, David Bowie is there. 

meadowtronic:

my favorite pairings are when they hate each other so much they make out

rnarker:

i hate when people say “you’ve barely touched your food” like what do you want me to do stroke it 

arctichunkies:

curves on women are great, but curves on final exams are really what get me going

yviees:

I need 6 months vacation, twice a year.

(Source: awfullyy)

heterophobianca:

livin a life of constantly being a little bit sleepy and mildly turned on